Dear -Future- me.. 

Dear future me, I can see you reading this and smiling, thinking of my younger self, the naive version of you, the determinant one and the one who is so content with its self. You have nothing but love for me. You seen me through it all, you saw me cry out of heart breaks and betrayals, you stood by me when I lost is all, when i was so disgusted with myself you held my hair while I emptied the life out of my system, when I felt lost you stayed with me to help me figure our the way back. You saw the pain and you helped me hide the scars.

You saw my journey, my lows and my highs. You’ve seen me become stronger and more wiser, I saw my change. I can feel you smiling remembering the lessons you’ve learned along the journey we’ve been through. I see in your eyes the flashbacks of what got me to write this today, and trust me I know that victory grin that is on you right now, you should be proud. 

I hope you reached your goal, to be genuinely happy. Please tell me you have read all the Harry Potter books and that your small library grew? 

So I hope that you’re doing well and got over your insecurities? did you start the thing we always planned you’ll do? If not what are you waiting for?

Future self, don’t let me be anything but a lesson, a reminder of how you reached rock bottom yet you found your way up, use me as the motivation to be a better version of us both. 

Please be happy.

I love you ❤️ 

Dear -Past- Me,,

Dear past me, 
Hi, I know that you’re unhappy, broken and lost but you will be better, life will be better. I promise that you find what you lost and you will mend those broken pieces, you will be strong, trust me, I saw that transformation and it was beautiful. 

To be totally honest, it won’t be all rainbows and sunshine, there will be rain, thunder and hurricanes but you’re strong enough to handle most of it, you will have a whole team of support system, friends that will love you and be there for you, they’ll feel like family more than you real family, some will fail you though and will teach you some pretty tough lessons in betrayal, manipulation and lies, you will feel used and disrespected but I promise you will move on. 

Stay true and love yourself, because love is you won’t be able to receive love if you’re busy hating yourself. Always remember, you’re stronger than they think!

With love,

Me

Fear – discovery!

I think we all have different things that scares us on different levels. Some are afraid of the dark while some gets terrified by clowns and so on. however, recently for some reason this has been something that won’t leave my head, I keep thinking about it all the time and it consuming me.

Everyone who knows me probably knows about my fear of needles but that more of a genetic type of condition I guess since it highly common in my family, anyhow the reason I started thinking about this I discovered that I fear drowning. Well I came to this conclusion because while I was taking my shower I noticed how I take bigger breaths and how I am so careful about berating, so I started remembering how I get anxious and nervous when I take a bath.  
Now I believe that it’s the reason I can’t actually swim although I tried to learn few months back, I couldn’t because the idea of drowning to death and imagining myself dying this way freaked me so much. Thinking about this took me back to a when I was young, me and my family we went to Salalah to this place where it had sort of waterfall, where I remember my mother wanted to put me on a rock that was in the middle of the water I cried that I didn’t want to and when she asked, she told me that I saw I was afraid the place would fill up with water and I’d drown. Another incident was when we went on a boat ride in the Nile and guess what did because I thought that the boat was going to break and we’d drown into the sea? I CRIED YES! Don’t judge me I was a bit of a drama queen then.
It’s weird discovering me fears when I am already 22 years old, right when I started believing that I am fearless, nevertheless I do enjoy learning new things about myself.

My favorite Tv shows

I wanted to make my first post to be something really special and creative, I literally had written 4 articles or posts whichever is more correct, I wasn’t satisfied with any of them. I was getting really stressed because my goal was to post at least once a week so I was so late but I forgot the fact that I am still learning how to do this and I am taking my baby steps into this world. As a result of my “I want everything to be perfect” attitude, what started to by being fun and enjoyable started to feel like a chore, so I decided to let go and whenever a good idea come to my mind I will write about it and that’s that.

So today I was feeling nostalgic for some old TV shows that I have seen before. Anyone who knows me knows what a big, no I mean huge series junkie I am!! I don’t only watch a show; I have relationships with my series I just can’t have it otherwise. That’s why I decided to dedicate some time to talk about my babies a little, although some would argue that I gave it too much of my time already, well according to my “TVshow time” account I have seen 8955 episodes which calculate to 7 months, 4 hours and 22 hours watching TV shows; I have no regrets and yes I am proud it, in fact, I would consider it an accomplishment.

Here is a list of my total favorite TV shows in no particular order:

  • Game of thrones
  • Friends
  • That 70’s show
  • Breaking bad
  • Downton abbey
  • Suits
  • Gossip girl
  • Sex and the city
  • Full house
  • How I met your mother
  • The big bang theory

Honorable mentions:

  • 2 broke girls
  • Orange is the new black
  • New girl
  • Awkward
  • Prison break
  • Drop dead diva
  • House
  • Pushing daisies

Shows that I am currently watching:

  • Vikings
  • Shameless
  • Freaks and geeks

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The one where it all started…

  I have always felt that I had so much to say, much more to express. I had been keeping blogs ever since I started using the internet but never shared them with the public, there always has been something that is mine and mine only and whenever someone finds them I DELETE THEM that very moment so I start the new one and so on…

I am not a great writer but I’d like to think that I am good. I do want to improve my skills and that’s why at this moment I officially will start blogging here about whatever comes to my mind and what I would share. If anyone is reading or whatever I wouldn’t mind any pointers that would help me, any type of constructive criticism is very welcomed. I’d appreciate them being sent to me by email, which I will put at the end of this post or description box till I figure things out since I am new to WordPress.

I think I should have introduced myself at the start well, My name is Noor I am 22, about to turn 23! You may say that I am lost right now since I am in a very sensitive part of my life where I just left my university and starting all over, well because I wasn’t meant to be an engineer 😂! I am into art, crafts, journaling, and music is my safe haven if I had to describe it .. And Technically I am married to my books. As you’ll come to know later on -probably- I hope that no one finds out how boring my life is till its too late😂.
Well, that’s all for now…

My Email: Noormj.als@gmail.com